The 3 Mountains I Climbed to Become a Mum at 40

Five years ago, if someone had told me my journey to motherhood would be filled with heartbreak, surgeries, waiting, and uncertainty—

I don't know if I would have believed them.

I became a first-time mum at 40 years old.

Like many women, I assumed starting a family would happen naturally.
I never imagined that becoming a mum would become one of the greatest challenges of my life.

In 2021, in my late thirties, I found out I was pregnant.

The excitement was impossible to describe.
I had already imagined our future.
Pictured tiny hands to hold.
Dreamed about the day I would finally become a mum.

But at eight weeks, everything changed.

During my 2nd follow-up appointment, the doctor confirmed what my heart had already begun to fear.

There was no heartbeat. My baby had stopped growing.

I remember feeling completely numb.
No words can truly describe the grief of losing someone you never got to meet.

Hoping for different news, I sought a second opinion.
Instead, the doctor gently confirmed the miscarriage.

Then he said something I have never forgotten.

"You have two mountains to climb before you can conceive again."

Those words felt impossibly heavy.

The 1st mountain was saying goodbye to my baby through a missed miscarriage procedure.

The 2nd came with another diagnosis I never saw coming — a 10cm ovarian cyst and a 5 cm fibroid. Both needed surgery before it would be safe to try again.

In what felt like a single moment, I had gone from celebrating new life to grieving a heartbreaking loss, while preparing for another major operation.

There were days I questioned everything.
Days I wondered if motherhood simply wasn't meant for me.

But somewhere beneath the heartbreak, a small part of me refused to let go of hope.

There were countless appointments.
Two surgeries.
One to say goodbye to the baby I had already begun to love.
The other to remove the cyst and fibroid.

Then came two recoveries.

Physically healing.
Emotionally healing.
One day at a time.

When I Thought the Hardest Part Was Behind Me

2 year later, my body had finally recovered, and my husband and I were ready to try again.

We began preparing for fertility treatment because i am reaching 40 year old. We went for our IVF assessments.

I truly believed the hardest part was behind us.

Then life surprised us again.

The doctors found a small tumour on my pituitary gland — quietly producing excessive prolactin, a hormone that could make it much harder to conceive.

Another mountain?

Every time I thought I'd reached the top, another climb appeared.

Looking back now, I realise how many women quietly carry stories like this.

Stories of miscarriage.
Stories of IVF and infertility.
Stories of surgery.
Stories of waiting.

Stories hidden behind polite smiles, whenever someone casually asks—
"So... when are you having kids?"

I was one of those women.

Hope Found Us When We Least Expected It

I spent years preparing myself for another uphill battle.
I thought the next step would be fertility treatment.

But before treatment even began—

While my husband and I were away on a quiet couples' getaway—

God had other plans.

After the trip, we found out we were expecting our little miracle.

After everything we'd been through, hope found us when we least expected it.

Today, when I look at my only daughter, Ruby, I think about every mountain that led me to her.

Would I choose to go through all that pain again?
Of course not.

But every difficult chapter has made me treasure motherhood in ways I never imagined.

Every bedtime cuddle.
Every little giggle.
Every tiny hand reaching for mine.

None of it feels ordinary.
It all feels like a gift.
One I will never take for granted.
Because it didn't come easy. 

To Every Woman Who Is Still Climbing

If you're reading this while grieving a miscarriage,
waiting on test results,
recovering from a surgery,
or simply wondering if motherhood will ever find you—

I can't promise your story will look like mine.
Every journey is different.  

But I hope mine reminds you of this:
today is not the end of your story.

Sometimes life asks us to climb mountains we never expected.
Mountains that change us.
Mountains that break us.
And sometimes, mountains that reveal a strength we never knew we had.

Wherever you are right now, be gentle with yourself.
The grief, the hope, the waiting — all of it is real, and all of it is allowed.

You are not your diagnosis.
Not your age.
Not a number on a medical report.
You are worthy. And your story still matters.

We are stronger than we often give ourselves credit for.

So whatever mountain you're climbing today,
take it one step at a time.

You never know what beautiful chapter is waiting on the other side.